Balancing Money And Friendship: A Guide To Tact

Money and friendship never mix. Even friends who have been in business for a long time admit that there is always friction when it comes to issues in these matters. When you are not in business together but still have to deal with your friends over some cash flow matter, then things can become awkward. Here are some common scenarios and how you can handle them tactfully.


Asking is never easy, especially from a friend. If you are speaking to someone you’ve known a long time and trust implicitly, then the most tactful way to ask for a loan is to be honest. Do not insult your relationship by hedging. State the reason and ask to borrow politely, but word it carefully so that there is no expectation in your voice that could lead to them feeling obliged to comply. It is never easy to think money when it comes to friends; don’t make it anymore awkward than it needs to be. Make sure to ask for a ‘loan’ and not just to borrow because the chances of you getting a ‘yes’ is higher when you let them know you intend to pay it back.

On the flip side, saying ‘yes’ – or more often, ‘no’ – is not easy either. If you agree, then that’s it. All you have to do is think money Australia reviews. If you want to say no, then you have to be careful. If it is a close friend that you know well, tell them the honest reason why you’re saying no. If your friendship cannot survive that bit of honesty, then you probably shouldn’t be friends in the first place. If it is an acquaintance or a distant friend, mention that the little bit you have saved will be urgently needed soon for something or that you have already promised it to someone. Never say you don’t have money – everyone does. It’s just that, sometimes, you simply can’t give it away.

A Wasteful Friend

An intervention is always difficult especially if said friend is wasteful by nature and will probably not see the error of their ways. There are two ways to go about this:

One way is to intervene directly. You can sit your friend down and talk to them about what you have observed in their behavior. Know your facts: how much does he/she earn, roughly, a month? How much do you think their expenditure is? Do you have social media posts to back you up about their expensive habits? Confronted with evidence, most people agree to dial it way down. After that, it’s simply a matter of helping them to keep that promise, since overspending is a habit not easily broken.

The other way is more subtle. You make random comments such as, “Oh is that new? Wait – didn’t you buy a new pair just last week? Wow” in order to make your friend stop and think about their habits. You should also encourage others in his/her life to do the same, making sure that they are exposed to different perspectives on their spending habits. This method takes longer but can lead to self-control arising from self-awareness, which is much more effective and much healthier in the long run.